FAQs

Am I really an atheist now?

Yes. You have publicly declared yourself an atheist.

Can I change my mind?

No.

You said that you'd notify my mother, but she's dead. What happens now?

Our software automatically handles this situation. If your mother is deceased, the notification is sent to your father. If your father is deceased, notification is sent to the first living below listed individual:

  1. Non-atheist spouse
  2. Eldest sibling
  3. Immediate supervisor
  4. Best friend
  5. Gossipy neighbor
  6. The New York Times

Now that I'm a declared atheist, do I have to believe in the theory of evolution?

If the theory of evolution makes sense to you, then great. If not, fine. Read some books. Make up your own mind.

If I'm wrong and there is a god, will I go to hell?

Who knows? If there is a deity and it wants to punish people eternally because they honestly tried to live a moral life without believing in magic for no reason, then sure you'll go to hell (if there is such a place). On the other hand, if there is a deity and it isn't a complete jerk, you're in good shape.

As an atheist, how do I know the difference between right and wrong?

The same way religious people do, by judging individual situations on their merits and in terms of the culture in which you exist and were raised. The only difference is that you'll admit that you're making your own decision instead of trying to find some text or tradition to validate your feelings.

Should I argue with an/or make fun of religious people?

It's not nice to argue or tease. Certainly religious people wouldn't speak badly of you just because of your beliefs, so you shouldn't speak badly of them. However, intellectual discussions and free sharing of ideas are always good.

My religious friends tell me that as an atheist I'm doing Satan's work. How should I respond?

Tell them that you do not work for Satan. Tell them you also do not work for leprechauns or the Wizard of OZ. Also, consider broadening your circle of friends.

Are there any books I should read?

Pride and Prejudice is good. I liked War of the Worlds, too. You might try asking your friends or a librarian for suggestions.

What about the Bible?

Sure, read that, too. It's kind of interesting and people make cultural references to it all the time. The same with Hamlet.

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

No.

So what do I do now?

Buy the shirt.

(And if this wasn't hardcore enough for you, try this.)


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